Getting and Staying Motivated

Anyone that has tried to achieve anything in their life knows that it requires motivation and dedication. I think sometimes we look at motivation as too big a word and commitment and de-motivate ourselves before we even get started. I would like to share a little tip with you that I use to stay motivated and it has helped me to achieve things in my life I never thought possible. Live in the moment. Is that too simple? Well, I think our lives are really just an accumulation of each moment we are living, and the truth of the matter is the only thing we have control over is the NOW, not tomorrow, not 5 years down the road, NOW, this moment. Too often we speculate about 5 years and 10 years and 15 years down the road and freak ourselves out on how much work and dedication it will require to achieve a goal and de-motivate ourselves. If you want to stay motivated stop thinking about how long you will need to stay motivated in order to achieve your goal and just start with getting motivated NOW, in this moment. Then just start stringing each moment of motivation together. You will be amazed at just how much you can accomplish and just how easy it is to stay motivated for years and years.

This is a skill I am always working on, living in the moment versus speculating what might or might not happen, or factoring out well beyond reasonable time frames on what I will need to do for how long in order to achieve something. I have read and listened to many great thinkers, like Deepak Chopra that truly profess living in the moment. I have also gotten more into yoga, which helps with breathing and relaxing and focusing on the moment. I have used this to tremendous success in various undertakings; one example would be my first 10 mile run in which I totally blew away the time I thought I would complete the race by almost 5 minutes. What I did from the very start of the race was I did not think about keeping up my pace for the entire 10 miles, I just worried about keeping up the pace for the next step, and the next few feet or next few blocks. I was amazed that before I really even knew how far I had gone I was passing the 5 mile marker and at a pace I couldn't believe. Even at that point I did not say, OK only 5 more miles to go can I do it, no I just said ok, let's get to mile 6, let's get to the cone up head and before I knew I completed the race and beat the best time I ever thought possible.

I am not saying we shouldn't plan for or think about the future at any level, that would be irresponsible and we need to plan and always take a step back and evaluate how we are progressing in the big picture. What I am suggesting is as you set goals and objectives for yourself, whether they be in business, personal finance, health, relationships don't immediately focus on the end result and feel overwhelmed about how to possibly get there. Focus on taking action and just start doing that on a consistent basis. If you want to have $10k in savings and you are at $0 right now that might seem like an overwhelming task, but START, TAKE ACTION. Start small and begin to string the little actions in your current moment together and you will be amazed how easily you achieve the goals you have set for yourself.

Give it a try, what can it hurt, make it a game, see how many of the current moments you can string together. I bet if you think of it at that level you will be astounded at how many moments you can keep it going. Good Luck!!

Simple Way to Improve Communication

How well do you COMMINICATE? I didn't say speak or listen, I said communicate, I have found that is much different than basics of listening and speaking. It has become more important for me to focus on communication versus trying to impress people with my extensive vocabulary or great speaking skills. I am back to basics, trying to effectively communicate with other people, it is such a different and amazing experience. It is more than just listening; it is concentrating and engaging with the person you are having a conversation with that really allows you to communicate better.

Communication is a funny thing; I had in the past associated more with the spoken word but I have found there is much more involved. I have been living in Ecuador for close to 2 months now and I have been communicating with people better than I have during any other visit. I believe my success is do as much to studying and expanding my understanding of Spanish as it is to improving my communication skills as well, I have gained a new appreciation of using things other than my mouth and ears to communicate. I been using my hands and eyes as much as anything to effectively communicate. I never realized just how much of an impact animating a conversation could have on effective communication. I have noticed I am able to comprehend and communicate things much more effectively when either I animate my speaking with hand motions and other forms of animation. I am also able to comprehend a great deal more when I truly concentrate on the subject and watch the facial expressions and hand motions while someone is speaking. Engaging more of your senses when you communicate will certainly enhance your listening, comprehension and effective communication even in your native tongue.

In the past I have had a tendency to be a little long winded when talking. I don't have the luxury when trying to communicate in Spanish, my vocabulary is not that robust. This has forced me to communicate more efficiently using few words. I have also noticed that even though I do not understand every word being said to me if I can pick up the main subject and verbs I can follow the conversation and communicate. This got me to thinking; even in my native tongue do I really listen to every word of a conversation or just listen for the key points and respond. I believe we can communicate better being more efficient with our words and communicating our points as effectively as possible without all the fluff we surround our main points. When you are person being spoken to if you have trouble staying engage I recommend focusing on the main points of the conversation instead of trying to absorb every word and you will find you are able to remain engaged longer and more effectively follow a conversation.

I will admit has been frustrating many times trying to communicate when you don't speak the same language but I have gained a greater appreciate for all the various nuances of communication beyond just listening and speaking. Even if you are not forced to speak a different language then your native tongue spend some time and see how you really communicate and try to listen a little better, watch a little more and choose your words effectively and I bet you will find you are communicating better then you could ever imagine.

How to get more from Life

 

I had some time to think yesterday while we were doing some site seeing in Ecuador, yes I did enjoy all the scenery but with some serious driving time I did have time to do some thinking as well. I realized something and perhaps it has been sitting in the back of my head since I read Think and Grow Rich, in one section Napoleon Hill discusses negotiating with life for what you really want and asking for exactly what you want. I believe too often in life we settle for less, and not always because we feel we are worth less but because it is uncomfortable to ask for more. My mind starting going down this route because I was thinking about getting out of my comfort zone, which is something I've prided myself on over the last year as I've really taken some chances. What I've realized as I have expanded my comfort zone is that I may have just reached another level and now I need to work to breakthrough and expand my comfort zone again.

We get so happy and content in our comfort zone because it is an easy place to exist, we know what to expect and life is a little more predictable. It is like living in a bubble that we created, we appear to have grown as big as we can because we are looking at things from inside the bubble but what happens if we burst our own bubble? All of a sudden we are looking at ourselves from outside this bubble and realizing that perhaps we didn't grow as much as we thought because we were limiting ourselves. This is how I was feeling yesterday because I think I burst through my initial comfort zone bubble and for the first time saw how much more room I have to grow. While I am proud of what I have accomplished over the last year with my family and my career, and I think it is exciting that I am spending several months a year living and working in Ecuador I am realizing just how much more there is to grow.

My mind began to focus on how I interact with people on a business and personal level and I realized I am still very much caught in a comfort zone. I never really push too hard for everything I want or feel entitled to because often times it requires me to step outside my comfort zone. I had one recent experience in which I was negotiating a new deal for my consulting business and while the deal I struck is very solid it isn't everything I wanted it to be, it is good, but not great. This sums up many of my deals I have negotiated, not because I don't know what I want but too often I hold back because to ask for everything can be uncomfortable. It doesn't mean to demand everything so that the other side is left dry because I think in any good deal both sides should be happy but what I do mean is asking for a little more than is comfortable. Some of you may be thinking, well I have a great job I am doing fine I don't really need to ask for more, but there are hundreds of examples in our daily lives that we could get more if we just asked. Do you always ask if there are any deals when you are purchasing anything? When you go to the mechanic to ask more than 1x if they can do any better on what they are charging? Do you not go up to a girl in a bar because she might reject you? Why do we do or better yet not do these things we want to? Why don't we ask for what we want? Why don't we push a little harder to make sure that we feel good about the deal? Because often times it involves getting out of our comfort zone to do so, you may have to sit for a moment of awkward silence while your proposal is being considered. You may look like someone that is tough to deal with, but who cares.

I challenge you to at least once a day ask for something that will put you out of your comfort zone. It could be as simple asking the person at the coffee place to add another sugar because your coffee isn't sweet enough. It could be asking the person in the cube next to you to be a little quieter because they are bothering you. It could mean something big like asking your boss for a raise. For some these things are no big deal for others they represent awkward situations that require you to step out of your little world and comfort zone and insist that someone else do things the way you want. Think about how much different your life would be if you started living outside your comfort zone and asking for more of what you want and less of what the world gives you.

Are you living your Passion

I have been doing a great deal of reading lately since being in Ecuador. I have found that with no TV and fewer distractions I have been able to read more when I am here then when I am back in the US. I really have enjoyed the ability to spend some time reading and growing, as anyone who is a student of personal development knows that reading, learning and growing is essential to your success. Of the various books I have been reading one in particular has jumped out at me, The Element by Ken Robinson. It is about finding and living from your passion and ignoring the negative influences and people in our lives. Are you searching for your passion? Do you feel you are living the life you were intended to live? If you feel something deep down that perhaps you are holding yourself back or not living up to your full potential I encourage you to pick up a copy of The Element. The book does a great job of incorporating many real life stories of people you have heard of and know and relates how they found their Element and lived their lives to fullest by living the life they were intended to live. Mr. Robinson also does a great job of mixing in scientific data, real life anecdotes and his insightful thoughts and ideas into an easy to read and enjoyable book.

I believe finding your passion is key to living life to the fullest and truly reaching your full potential. I have been searching for my passion and while this book doesn't give you a road map on how to find your passion it does give you some great ideas on what you can do to start living your life of intent. If you know what your passion is and what you would like to be doing but are searching for the path or encouragement to finally start sharing your gift with the world then this book is a great resource you should read and keep in your library.

One thing that has struck me as I read this book and the accounts of the people who have followed their passion is that right now with everything going on in the world we need more people finding and living in their Element. The world, the universe benefits from people that find their gift, and share it with the world. If you are either searching for your passion or know your passion and searching for the strength to ignore the naysayers and the thoughts in your head that say you can't let me encourage you to GO FOR IT!!! Start living your life to the fullest and really coming alive, as someone that I admire and follow Patrick Combs says – "Come alive, the world needs more people to come ALIVE"!!

Galapagos Amazing in Ways I Couldn’t Have Imagined

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The Galapgos Islands are truly one of those special places on this planet that I encourage everyone to visit at least once in their lives. I have been to other such places, like Yellowstone Nation Park, and anyone that goes to these places experiences the magical and incredible power that make these places so special. I wasn't really sure what to expect when I was going on the trip, I had seen different shows and read some info on the islands but they are so much more than can be captured by a television camera or a book. As soon as you arrive you truly get a sense of just how special this place is, it is almost sacred in its quiet beauty sitting out in the middle of the Pacific Ocean almost undisturbed by modern life. While it isn't as untouched and impacted by human interference as it once was the natives do a tremendous job of maintaining a certain sacredness to the parts of the islands that need to remain natural and not impacted by man. I have a feeling I will do several posts on the Galapagos in order to properly detail my trip because I don't think one post will truly do justice to the experience. I went there expecting to be impressed with the beauty of the place but what I didn't count on is the spirit that resides on the island and the impact it would have on me as a person. I think it first hit me when I was the first one to jump in the water to snorkel with the sea lions on our first day on the island. The reason this struck me was the last time I tried to snorkel I was living in Florida and I really couldn't get the breathing down and couldn't really dive under the water without digesting a gallon of water and so I really hadn't tried snorkeling since. As I left the other passengers on our boat behind and took the plunge into the unknown waters I realized that I had no idea what these sea lions would do and what happens if they swim up to me. It is a pretty unique experience when you are swimming out in the ocean all by yourself in such a unique environment like the Galapagos with all types of sea life swimming around you. Not only was I the first one to jump in but I had a blast snorkeling and I dove under the water several times to get a closer look at some of the coral and sea life and had no problem coming back to the surface getting the water out of the snorkel and swimming on. As we continued on our day and went on to the next amazing part of the island we encountered a body of water that was cut into the volcanic rock and fed right into the ocean. As we climbed up to look down into the crystal green and blue water we noticed several sharks swimming around in the water, which is just an impressive site. I jokingly asked the guide if we can go swimming with them and he said sure. I realized what I just opened myself up to as we hiked on to another part of the island and another beach. What was amazing though is I was not scared or concerned by the thought of swimming with the sharks and I knew that I would do it without a problem. The reason this is so amazing to me is I know for sure 6 months to a year ago I wouldn't have done it, or I would have freaked myself out thinking about it while we completed our other part of the journey. Instead, this day, this time I felt a never before sense of confidence and courage and when we got back to the water with the sharks I was the first one in the water again and of the 8 people on the tour only 1 other person, my wife, got in the water with me and the sharks. As we were walking back to the boat after safely swimming with and checking out the sharks the confidence and new sense of personal power I felt was unparalleled to anything I had experienced before and set the stage for an incredible remainder of the trip.

As I woke up the next day in this magical place with this new found sense of self and courage I wondered what unexpected adventure the new day would bring. Sure enough the day did not disappoint and before lunch I found out what my next experience would be, learning to surf on the waves of Tortuga Bay. For those of you that have not been to the Galapagos, Tortuga Bay requires about a 45 min hike through the endemic landscape of the island, you then arrive at this magical white sand beach with the bluest of water. It is a sight which you will remember for the rest of your life and is truly one of the most beautiful beaches you will ever encounter. As we played in the water my wife noticed that there was a local teaching some tourist to surf. She asked if he would teach her and I to surf and he said sure, as long as we helped carry the boards back out after the lesson (remember it was a solid 45 min hike to get to the beach) we agreed and settled on 1pm to get started. As the time approached I wasn't too sure if I still wanted to go through with the lesson, we hadn't really planned on being there that long and hadn't eaten or brought any lunch, as you perhaps could imagine it also wasn't located near any resources to acquire food so I either had to suck it up and shut down the thoughts of hunger or give up what could potentially be one of the coolest things I have ever tried. I should probably preface this by saying that I had tried surfing before with no success and knew how difficult it could be and how tiring. My wife and I discussed it and without too much thinking about it on either of our parts we decided to put any thoughts of hunger aside and to take the surfing lessons. It turned out to be one of the greatest decisions of the trip. I can recall the first time I tried to surf the frustration I felt at not being able to do it, it feed into myself perception of not being very athletic or good at too much. Those thoughts tried to creep into my mind as the first couple of waves wiped me out before I was even close to standing up, but something else happened in the water of Tortuga Bay. Instead of letting those thoughts over take my mind I shut them out with relative ease and took in the beauty that was all around me and knew, this day, this trip I was going to surf. After a few close attempts of actually standing up I finally for the first time in my life stood up on a surf board and rode a wave. The first wave I'll admit wasn't the longest ride in the world but was inspirational none the less. After a few more short rides I finally got it, the moment I had thought would never happen, I stood up on the board and rode a wave all the way into the beach, I was actually able to stand up and take in the scenery, move my feet around a little and alert my friend on the beach to snap the freakin picture because this was IT!!! I don't know if I have the words to truly capture the feeling of conquering a wave gave me but it was powerful. It goes beyond just that particular day and riding a few waves, it breaks down this thought that I just don't really have the physical ability to do that type of stuff too well. That 45 min hike back to civilization this time carrying a board which could have been a long trek turned into a short walk with a big smile on my face and an incredible sense of pride as I walked past people carrying my surfboard thinking, YES… I just rode a freakin wave on Tortuga Bay in the Galapagos Islands, I am the MAN!!!

The trip could have ended there and it would have already gone down as an amazing, legendary trip in my life but it wasn't done yet. The last day we headed over to another island for some more site seeing and snorkeling. My confidence in the water was already at an all time high so when the guide asked myself and the other tourists if we were strong swimmers as the current was very strong in the part of the ocean we were going to dive I said "sure, no problem". I then jump in the water and within about 2 seconds was pulled a good 50 feet from the boat without even taking a stroke. As I put my mask on and looked at the world that existed under the water I almost couldn't believe my eyes. I literally felt like I just dove into Finding Nemo, there were schools of amazing tropical fish everywhere, there were sharks, manta rays, turtles, sea lions, amazing coral everywhere you turned. I think if I hadn't already swam with the sharks and conquered my fear I would have been a little freaked out but this was just another step in the journey now. We, me, my wife and one of the guides swam out much further than on any of the other divers and I will admit there were a couple of times as we entered some deep parts of the water and the boat got further away and the realization of where you were swimming hits you I got a little scared but that is what made it so exhilarating. I realized that the whole trip had actually built to this moment, if I hadn't built my confidence over the previous couple of days I don't know that I would have enjoyed the experience in the same way. But after the last couple of days not only did I enjoy it but I thrived on it, I loved it and was out in the water for longer and saw more then I could have imagined.

Is all of this about the Galapagos, to a degree yes but to me it is the story within the story. For some reason something got inside of me on this trip and I felt differently about myself, my confidence was higher than it had ever been and I actually felt like the person I knew I was but never really seemed to be. I conquered some fears and accomplished some things that I had never done before and with each little step my confidence grew. So what does that mean to you the reader, it means never give up. Never accept defeat when you can't do something, keep trying and tell yourself you CAN and not "it is OK if you can't" because as Henry Ford once said – "if you think you can or you think you can't you are right". Just to give you a sense as to how incredible this trip was I wrote all of this and didn't even mention that on the first day I walked right by Richard Gere who was visiting the island, I'll have to save that story for another post.

 

Living the Dream – In Ecuador

During our current adventure in Ecuador we have really made an effort to discover Ecuador a little more and immerse ourselves in the area and discover and enjoy what makes this such a special place. This weekend was by far the pinnacle of that effort to date. As I have mentioned we are helping to run the hotel here in Salinas and we have been trying to get as engaged as possible in the area. We have attended a rally for one of the mayoral candidates a couple of weeks ago which was awesome. This last weekend we decided to go check out a new hotel that was advertising their new bar/restaurant. We wound up meeting the owner and having drinks with her and her friend who is a well connected member of the Guayaquil government. We believe networking is key and this night was just perfect. The hotel had an old European/Spanish design. The restaurant and bar were very trendy and chic for Salinas and had a bit of a New York feel to them. We sat by the pool and had drinks with the owner while the piano player entertained with a combination of Spanish and American music. We wound up having a having a few too many drinks and then they started breaking out the bottles of champagne and we all were having fun, laughing and enjoying a tropical evening, with a full moon by the pool. I really had to turn up my listening skills as everyone was speaking in Spanish. My comprehension has improved as I was able to follow the conversation surprisingly well. On Saturday I woke excited because I was supposed to have my 2^nd, one hour private golf lesson at the Salinas Country club. My wife had enjoyed the previous evening's festivities a little too much and wasn't feeling too well. I decided I would venture out on my own and go to the golf lesson; it is always a challenge for me to go out on my own with my limited Spanish so it is always an adventure. You don't realize the little things; you need to communicate on such a basic outing. I had to negotiate my way into the country club for the lesson since we are not members. I then did not see the instructor so I needed to ask the attendant who was busy yelling at someone else if there was a golf class today. He proceeded to tell me "no, the professor didn't show" I was amazed he understood what I asked and I understood what he said. I then decided to stop to get bread from the bakery for everyone on my way back to the hotel, yet another challenge as it involved ordering and paying for the bread. I managed to successfully make it out and back with bread, (no golf lesson) successfully which was a monumental task for me.

Saturday afternoon I was suppose to meet up with the guys I met Friday night and go sailing out on the ocean but we didn't connect. Instead my wife and I had an incredible lunch at an awesome new little restaurant in Chippepe and then we drove out to the tip of the Salinas peninsula and admired the breathtaking views offered from the sea cliffs overlooking the ocean. By mid afternoon I already had a full and exciting day but it was still just starting. I took a little nap and then got ready and we went to the Brahma Sunset/Fashion show on the beach. This was just a huge party on an extraordinary beach, that is closed for bathers because the waves are about 30 feet high. People gather on the beach at the end of the day to admire a breathtaking view of the sunset. Brahma, a popular beer here in Ecuador, was wise enough to set up a bar, right on the beach. It was all outside, with live music, beds on the beach to hang out, and a cool wood planked bar with a straw roof to get drinks. We had a blast with friends just having a few Brahma's watching the sun set and then enjoying a fashion show. We then headed to get something to eat at a fantastic little family owned restaurant down the street from our hotel. They serve a big plate of various types of meats on a little grill at your table. The food was incredible and for 4 people to eat the total cost was $20, amazing.

Sunday was a bit of slower morning but we enjoyed a nice breakfast by the pool and the kids played around. We then got motivated and met up with some of the people we were out with on Saturday night and went to a pool club a few miles away on the beach. It was just incredible, it had 4 Monster Water slides, an enormous kids pool with slids, water falls, a playground and everything. It was right on the beach so you looked out along an amazing view of the ocean and coastline. It was a fantastic way for the family to spend the day and the kids could not have had more fun. They were basically running around from the moment we got there until the time we left and nothing makes me happier than seeing my kids being outdoors, active and happy.

It was a truly magical weekend and it was really a special one because for the first time I really started seeing Ecuador in a different light, from a different perspective. We are truly opening up a whole new world on this trip, one that I never knew existed and couldn't be more excited to be exposed to and learn about. I will keep you posted on my new adventures as they happen, we go to the Galapagos Islands tomorrow so I'm sure my adventures aren't over yet.

Gen-X Not Only Can We Survive We can Thrive

I read an article today about how tough it is for Generation X because of the economic ups and downs over the last 10 years. Speaking from firsthand experience as a GenX'er not only do I believe my generation will survive and succeed but they will thrive and be major contributors to turning us around from the current situation and show the generations coming up behind us how to excel in the New World. Yes, it is a New World, the GenX'ers are at the start really, we came of age at a time when graduating from college, getting a job with a big company and staying there until you retire was not only not an option it wasn't even something most thought about or considered. Many of our parents where the biggest benefactors of Big Company America and worked for one company for 35-40 years and retired with a pension. People even a few years older than my generation still bought into the concept of Big Company America but I'll tell you from firsthand experience that really didn't even enter my mind when I graduated. Many of us went out and got cool jobs with small startup companies in the hopes that we would hit it big and be multi-millionaires before 30 and not even have to work as long as our parents. There were many that actually capitalized on that dream but most didn't, most just rolled along with the punches and kept fighting. I see that fight in many people in my generation, maybe it is because of the times we grew up in and the cultural influences we had as kids. We grew up with a real, big and scary enemy in the former Soviet Union and we weren't always sure that America would win. I remember getting fired up as a kid watching a movie called Red Dawn in which the Soviets actually invaded the US and kids my age at the time fought them off and helped drive back the invasion. We grew up when Rocky was putting out movie after movie and showing you that you never give up or stop fighting. We watched AIDS come into existence right as we were beginning to become sexually active, and still found a way to go out and have plenty of fun. We saw the first Gulf War take place while many of us were in college or starting our careers and many of us know people who went and helped fight for this country. We were right there when 9/11 occurred many GenXer's were in the buildings and based on accounts leading the charge against the terrorists on Flight 93. We know how to fight and survive and we don't always count on someone else to bail us out.

I believe it is this mentality of fighting and creating our own path in life that will be instrumental in helping turn around the current situation we are in. Many people from my generation where the ones starting the Internet companies in the early part of this decade and yes I know many didn't succeed but the seeds of entrepreneurialism were planted. I think it is those seeds combined with the fight and desire to see the U.S continue to succeed and prosper that will be a catalyst that helps make our way out of this situation and begin to prosper once again. This is a great country and despite the ups and downs in the economy it has given all in my generation an amazing place to live, grow up, prosper and enjoy life. Many of us had more fun in college then anyone has a right to and it is our generation that really made it chic to spend more than 4 years as an undergrad. We want our children now to have that same lust for life and enjoy the same incredible experiences we had watching the US really grow up and emerge as the premier power in the entire world. We aren't going to let this change on our watch, no sir. We never expected anything to be handed to us or for anyone to take care of us and we aren't going to start now. This is the time for us, GenerationX to step up and give back to a country that has made our lives richer, more fun and interesting than any previous generation. We owe it to the people that came before us to pick up the torch and help guide the US into the 21^st century. We owe it to those that are coming behind us to have the same access to fun, opportunity and riches that we did. Let's go out there and make it happen because we can, because our country deserves it and because it will be a heck of allot of fun to do it and I think all of those things are what makes Generation X tick.